Ode to an Electric Cart

This is a work of fiction. No real people, places or events were used. Copyright ã 2011 Plot Roach.

Ode to an Electric Cart

By Plot Roach

“Get in the cart, Mandy” said Sarah.

“But I feel weird about it. It’s not like I’m an invalid.”

“No, you’re thirty six weeks pregnant, and the doctor put you on bed rest. So if you’re going to go shopping with me, then you’re going to use the electronic shopping cart.”

Mandy eyed the scooter skeptically. “What if I just take it easy and walk slowly?” she asked. Her answer came from Sarah in the form of a glare that would have turned Medusa to stone. “Okay, I’ll get in the damned cart.”

It took a few minutes, even with reading the instructions on the side of the cart to get the hang of things. And with a little shaky maneuvering Mandy managed to get the cart from the front of the store down the main aisle and into the baked goods section. Immediately she was surrounded by glares from other shoppers looking at her like she was a seven year old child playing with a tank.

“Sarah, I have a bad feeling about this…” she said, trying to look inconspicuous as she pulled the cart to a stop.

“Why? You could give birth any time if you stress your body out. This just ensures that the child has a little longer in the womb.” Sarah rationalized.

A man standing to one side, looking at the filled pies turned and laughed. “You really don’t have anything to feel guilty for. My wife used the same thing her last few months of pregnancy. And it’s not like you’re like them.” He said, pointing to a couple who sagged over each end of the scooters that they were using. Each person alone made the electric scooter whine beneath his or her girth. Mandy was afraid of what their combined weight could do to a freight elevator.

“Maybe they have a thyroid problem?” Mandy reasoned.

“And maybe they never met a hamburger that they didn’t like.” Sarah mused.

Mandy ducked her head and traveled down another aisle or two, getting the hang of the electric cart. Before twenty minutes were out, she could handle the device like a pro, backing up, making u turns and being able to stop on a dime.

More stares followed her, riddling her with guilt from one aisle to the next. A few aisles later she found the source of the ill tempers of fellow shoppers. The ‘big’ couple was causing trouble, blocking some aisles entirely or rudely bumping into people, shopping carts or knocking over merchandise and driving off without so much as an apology.

Well, hell. Mandy thought. Even I can drive better than THAT. Sarah had traded places with her for a few minutes and found the cart dangerous and unwieldy at best. She announced to Mandy that she was going to try on a few things in the ladies changing room and asked if she would be okay alone.

“Sure thing. I’m just going to burn some rubber.” she smiled before taking off into the aisles of the market.

First she tested how little of a space she could get the cart through. Then came the obstacle course of small display stands which she wove in and out of like a racecar driver. She tested her speed and reflexes as children, playing in the toy aisle appeared from seemingly nowhere. And as much as her friend had joked that pedestrians on the road were extra ‘bonus’ points, she dared not test the theory as their parents might not agree.

She pulled off a khaki cotton bucket hat and a pair of reflective sunglasses from a display shelf and put them on, hunching over the electric scooter and she passes aisle after aisle. She spied a young man stocking a display of Hostess baked goods, scowling like he was trapped in a never ending torture in Hell. She pulled up next to him, scowling to match his mood and then announced: “We can’t stop here, it’s bat country!” before pulling away into another section of the store. His laughter followed her like a chorus of butterflies. She repeated the same stunt for Sarah, once her friend had left the ladies changing room.

“I don’t get it.”

“It’s from ‘Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas’” Mandy said.

“Huh?”

“Never mind, I guess you had to be there.”

“Are we ready to go yet?”

“I guess. Though I really am going to miss this thing.”

Mandy parked the scooter while Sarah paid for the merchandise. Patting the handle of the machine lovingly before she headed to the car, humming the song ‘Born To Be Wild’ as she left the store.