Customer Service

This is a work of fiction. No real people, places or events were used. Copyright ã 2011 Plot Roach.

Customer Service

By Plot Roach

Charlotte faced the ‘blue screen of death’ once again, groaning in frustration as the computer lost her science paper to the cyber void. I’m going to kill this thing soon, she told herself as she rebooted the computer and pulled up the word processing program once again. At least I still have my notes to go by, she told herself. But it’s still a pain.

This time, she saved the application as often as she finished a paragraph, and still the computer died once she had finished. Though this time, she had less to rewrite.

That afternoon, after turning in her term paper in science class, she resolved to go to the local electronics store. She stalked up and down the aisle of computers, both tabletop and laptop, judging the best for her needs and budget. Employees of the store whizzed past her without answered her request for help, busy with other customers. She went to the main desk, rang the bell and waited. After ten minutes she was certain that this was a little game being played on her. After all, she thought, what self respecting businessman would turn down money from someone willing to spend it in his store?

Having no help appear at the main desk, Charlotte went back to the computer section and pulled the call slip of the computer she thought best for her. She went to the main desk again and set the slip next to the register. She rang the bell, waited and then took things into her own hands.

She reached over the desk, and grabbed the microphone, flipping the switch on its side so that it could be heard over the whole store. “There is a customer waiting to be helped at the front desk.” she said. She waited, hoping that the manager would come barreling out of whatever corner of the store he was hiding it to apologize to her and to help her with her purchase. But once again, she was met with silence.

I’ve had it, she thought, deciding that the civilized approach was wasted in a place such as this. She went back to the computer section, pushed a chair from behind the main desk over to the security camera, stood upon it, removed her wallet and waved it in front of the camera while yelling: “Wooo -Hooo! I have money that I would like to spend here. Will any one come and take it from me?”

This should at least get a response out of security, she thought. And yet, still no one came. So she picked up the chair and used it to bash the computers on display. “Take that, you no good bastards! This will teach you to ignore someone who needs help!”

Plastic, metal and glass rained down from her rampage. The noise was horrific, the damage extensive, yet the employees did not stop in their rush back and forth across the store. She threw the chair at one man while she tripped an older woman, sending her to the floor.

“That’s what you get for ignoring me!” she bellowed. She turned from the fallen woman and stalked to the front of the store. She was so angry at the situation, that she only thought about the ramifications of her rampage only when she was close to the store’s exit.

Oh God, she thought, what if they call the police on me? She thought. I better get the hell out of here quick. She began to walk a little faster, hoping that the cameras did not get a detailed view of her face and that no one recognize her enough to tell the cops who she was.

“Excuse me, ma’am?” said an authoritative voice from behind her. She stopped and ducked her head down. And I was almost out of the store, too. She thought.

“Yes?” she asked, fearing her answer.

“That was magnificent.”

“Excuse me?”

“What you did just now, that was a work of genius.”

“But I just killed a bunch of computers. Do you know how much that will cost?”

“But do you know how much your actions will make us?”

“Are you going to sue me?”

“No! Why would we do that?”

Charlotte turned to him, gesturing to the broken mess and made a face. “Uh, what do you think?” she asked.

“We were in the middle of filming a commercial for the store when you walked in.” said the man. “I’m the owner, and I didn’t like where the commercial was headed anyhow, and then you walked in and I wanted to see what you would do.” he said smiling.

“So you ignored me on purpose?” Charlotte asked.

“I’m sorry about that, but I wanted a real person’s take on how frustrating it can be to try and make a purchase when there is no customer service. And you sure gave it to us.”

“I’m sorry about that…”

“Don’t be.” he said. “It’s just a few computers. And I’d like to give you a new one in return for using your ‘acting’ skills in our new commercial.”

“Are your customer service employees better at handling computer difficulties better than your salespeople?”

“Huh?”

“No one is going to ignore me forever and a day if I call the hotline with a problem are they?”

The owner of the store laughed long and hard, unable to answer her question from the lack of breath. Maybe I should just pay someone to have my crappy computer fixed, she thought. I’ve had more than enough trouble for one day as it is.